A little of this, A little of that
2005-04-28 @ 9:32 p.m.

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you just stopped? Just stopped it all.

Stopped worrying. Stopped wanting. Stopped needing. Stopped crying. Stopped struggling.

Started breathing.

I came home last night to an eviction notice on my door. I had no idea what I was going to do. It said that I had to have $317 or be out by midnight tonight. There is, of course, no way I could be out by midnight tonight. I've lived there for almost 2 years now My God, as it been that long?.... and my entire life is encompassed in that 500sq ft.

So, I cried, and I went to TheBoy's where he told me that it would all be okay. All the things I already know, but have such a hard time believing.... faith.

He never took his arms from around me. He held me close and tight, kissed me on the cheek. When I was leaving he kissed me on the forehead, once right in the center, and once right between my eyes. I looked up at him in that moment and the electricity was so strong I was afraid to breathe. He didn't kiss me on the lips, he never has. He will, when he's ready. It's good we're doing this so slowly. We've both been too hurt.

I'm tired, I need to eat dinner. Then, it's home and to bed. Tomorrow is my first day off in 14 weeks, and I'm sleeping in. Then, I have every intention of spending most of the day at Starbucks doing homework and getting ready for finals.

Sleep well darlings, for those who will read tonight. Good morning, may your day be blessed for those of tomorrow.