The End
2005-10-24 @ 9:34 a.m.

You never know in life when things are going to suddenly either fall apart or fall blissfully into place. We take for granted the struggles, the joys, the peace and the wars we go through on a day to day basis. Blinded by things that we should see fully and hungrily.

When, 3 months or so ago, I left this psuedo refuge I was broken, angry, hurt, and searching - for what I don't know. I was dating someone I love very much, someone who I'd longed to be with for more years than I can even imagine. And then one day, after everything else, I woke up and realized that while yes, I do love him, very much actually, I couldn't continue to be with him. He sheltered me, kept me under his wing, made sure I was taken care of. He was a trusted confidant, and friend, and shall, until time ends continue to be so. But that is all he'll be. My piece of my heart belongs to him and always will. He's my friend, and I love him eternally for that.

On July 29th my world was turned upside down. My company transfered me to a store that I had no knowledge of, that I had never even stepped foot in. They did this without asking me, they just told me, and while looking back now, it was the best thing for me, it scared the shit out of me. That afternoon I took my store keys to the man who would be temperarily taking over my old store. In less than 30 seconds, everything fell into place for me.

Tyson and I have been together ever since, and while to some it may sound silly, or even obsurd that you can realize so many things in such a short period of time, it just happened. He and I have spoken several times about why it all happened the way it did. About why we had no awkward moments in getting to know one another, about why it's never been uncomfortable to be together, about why, that afternoon, sitting on the couch and I jokingly said "You know you love me." and he replied "Yeah, I do." it just seemed natural.

He is what I've been searching for. He is everything. He's my friend, my lover, my partner in all things good, bad and indifferent. Emma adores him, and he her.

He makes me laugh.

I can't put into words the things that have overtaken the sorrowful person I was, using any means for the attention I needed and making mistakes about so many people along the way. I can however say that this, will probably be my last time on this site, that when it comes down to it, I just don't need the memories it holds. I've printed out the writings that I love and that I don't want to lose and aside from that I am gone.

Thank you to those who chose to be my friend, who continue to be, and to the ones who may decide later to find me for some reason or another.

And to you, who hurt and betray, I simply feel sorry for you. Life is bigger than that, and one day when you realize that it's not the rest of the world that's bad, ignorant, unworthy, you'll understand exactly why I feel so sorry for you.

All my love -

Megan