You take me back
2004-11-03 @ 9:10 a.m.

You take me back, always. Even when the fight is over now, even when the fight is over now. You take me back, always. Even when the pain is coming through, even when the pain is coming through. You take me back.

I don't remember exactly when I fell to my knees screaming to you that I just couldn't take it any more, that everything I felt was bad, and doing nothing but hurting me and everyone around me.

I do remember the tears, the anger, and how my throat was sore from straining to not breathe any longer. I wanted it all to end.... and it did.

I found my peace in you and of you and even though I fall.... often beyond what I feel is repairable, you take me back. You hold me in your arms and cradle me.

You are father, friend, brother, husband, lover, keeper, gratifier, justifier, punisher..... gentle touch.

Often times at night I long to be held, to feel the warmth and stregnth of a lovers arms. The care of their words and finger tips. The softness of a kiss. I long for these things not for physical pleasure but for mental respite. And then in my desperate prayers for this person, this physical mate.... you come and show me what comfort and peace truely are.

And never have I wept as I do in that breath.