I fall to my knees and I know that the only time I've ever come before is when I'm in need, and when I'm in pain. I know this approach is not wholly wrong, but that I should come as often, if not more, to thank you for the blessings your pour on me daily... even the ones I don't see....

The thing with personal pain is that no matter what anyone says, it's a pain deep enough that only one person can heal it.

Through the years I've suffered more pain than most people should ever have to. Much of this has been brought on by my own accord. Yet, at the same time the argument that the way I was raised, holds a strong light to the way I feel, and act.

The problem is, no matter what has happened in my life, I've always held on to it. The good, the bad, and even the things that just... are. This tends to cause a great many things to be playing and replayin in my mind all at once at any given time and never fully lets my heart be in a place of peace.

I hold on to the grudges of my parents. Of the way they treated me. I sit at dinner with them, acting civil, yet in my mind cursing them for their every move and every action.

I hold on to past relationships, usually by remaining friends with the people they involved, even if it's not beneficial to either party. It lends me to hope that there can be something rekindled, and great.

I hold on to past pain. The memories of events that have taken place in the past haunt me on a regular basis because I let them. I let them come in and take over my entire being until I can no longer think straight.

I hold on to feelings in my mind, rather than maybe what's in my heart, in hopes that one day something greater will come along.

Each and every one causes me pain. But, knowing what I know now. Knowing that I can let them go, let them be taken over by something so much greater, I know I can be at peace.

Some times, you just have to let it all go. whatloveisnt - 2004-10-18 09:27:14
I've noticed I do the same thing you are saying in here.
-------------------------------
whatloveisnt - 2004-10-18 09:27:35
I've noticed I do the same thing you are saying in here. hang in there, and have a good day. :)
-------------------------------
Heather - 2004-10-18 09:52:27
I think we are all guilty of that in some way. I used to hold on to trivial things just to keep them close to me. I found in the end it is just easier to let them go. The space they leave behind is usually filled with something much better than was there to begin with...
-------------------------------
Plop Phizz - 2004-10-18 11:30:23
Yup, I know that feeling to. I call those past experiences and memories "Cringers" because...well, I think the meaning of the word is self-evident. -- P.P.
-------------------------------
Me - 2004-10-18 12:54:27
I think it's perfectly okay to hang on to somethings. But hanging on to the ones which will only bring you pain, is simply hurting yourself more. You know?
-------------------------------
Des - 2004-10-18 13:31:04
I live in the past too often as well...something I am trying to move past...but it all comes down to making small progress...little by little it all falls into place. Much Love
-------------------------------
Let it go