Long and boring and bad
2004-08-05 @ 9:42 a.m.

Yesterday was just a rotten day. I mean, it started out okay, most do, but it was just plain bad by the time I finally went to bed at almost 2 am - again.

My cousin came in to see me, to pick up a check I'd had printed for her and that's when she told me. She and David, my David, had dinner the night before, and were planning on going out again last night.

David came by at about 4 o'clock, to see how I was, and to visit. I could tell in his eyes that he knew he'd hurt me, but that I'd never stop them from seeing one another.

I sat in my car crying for a good 15 minutes before I was finally able to go pick up Emma from school. I arrived at my house at the same time as her father, his girl friend, and her daughter, Carmen. They had a date to take the girls to Burger King and then to Wonderland, our amusement park. I got her into the truck and they left before I even went upstairs to the house. When I got there, it felt like I'd been blasted with a furnace.

My electricity had been turned off.

Mine, along with 48 other people in my complex. The electric company is addressing our bills in a way the post office won't deliver them and they're getting sent back. The electric company says they've never received any of them back and refuse to do anything about it.

So, I had to pay $111 to get it turned back on. That meant that I put in my last $60, plus DS gave me $51. He also gave me an extra $20 to get Emma some pull-ups and put a little gas in my car. Who knew he could be a nice guy?

The electric company told me that it may be before 11:30 last night, or between 24 and 48 hours to get it back on. It wasn't on when I left there just past 11:30, or when I went back this morning to brush my teeth at 8:00.

Why did I go there to brush my teeth? Well, because I ended up staying with DS last night. It was either with him, or with Darcey and David. I chose him.

I slept in his bed, in the room with the swamp cooler, so the sheets felt damp and I froze all night. Not to mention I wasn't in my own bed, let alone his. I'm sure I got less than two hours of sleep.

The promise of a hot shower and new day were the only things that allowed me to get up this morning. Getting a hot shower would be another story. There was NO hot water. The shower was icy cold. Then, he was out of toothpaste so after taking Emma to school I had to stop at my place and brush my teeth in the dark all causing me to be 4 minutes late to work.

Yes, I understand it was only 4 minutes. But I'm completely anal about stuff like that.

The only good things that came out of this ordeal is I got to talk to Cole, who was cooking dinner while we talked at almost 10 pm. He promised he'd share his mac'n'cheese and baco's with me. Told me he loves me and that I'm one of the most, if not the most, intelligent people he knows, and that he knows for a fact that I'm certianly the most well read person he knows. Coming from him, this was a huge compliment. I know intellect is a big thing for him. He's so encouraging to me, and I love him for it.

I also got to talk to Scott last night, who told me that I'm beautiful. When I told him, my voice cracking again, that I'd been close to tears all day, he said "Don't be close now. I heard that!" He made me laught last night. That's a big thing with me. If you can make me laugh, really laugh, I'll love you forever.

I don't know, maybe I'm just tired and cranky. Maybe I have reason to be and maybe I don't. All I know is I wanna go home, to Cole, lay next to him and sleep for hours with his arms around me.

I want N. I wish he was here to make me breakfast, to drive for hours with no destination. Maybe I'll call him tonight and see if he'll come in this weekend.....