A real update
2004-05-25 @ 3:55 p.m.

I'd like to say that I haven't had the time to add an entry all day today. I would however be lying.

I haven't had the desire or will to do so and you know what? That's okay. Every now and again we have to break routine.

I'm in a strange place right now and I'm not sure what it's leading to with the exception of certain insanity. But then again for those who truely know me, we know that I've been on the brink for years as it is. Maybe it's just a slight push.

Every day seems to grow increasingly faster and I can only hope that this pace continues until we step off the plane in Italy and then time stops. Somehow I have a feeling that about Thursday next week time is going to come to a screeching standstill and then take on the speed of light once we land. It's just the way things happen.

Emmy's tests went fairly well yesterday, we won't have the results until we come home, but that's okay. I'm not sure I want to know. At the same time she see's her pyschologist for the first time tomorrow and that is what really has me stressed. She's two fucking years old for christs sake! And, what if there's nothing wrong with her? What if the things she thinks are there, really are?

I don't know what to think, I'm just trying to do what's best for my little angel.

This past month or so has opened up so many different things for me and I'm not all together sure of which ones are for the better and which will eveually do me in, but all in all I'm sure it's all something that I have to go through. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the person I need to be in the end. And, it wouldn't be happening if it didn't need to.