I don't need
2005-04-06 @ 4:04 p.m.

"Come here and cry on my shoulder, I'll hold you 'till it's over...."

I've been dreading the words that I'm about to say. They've been bitter on my tounge for weeks and burn a hole in my soul. But they're things that need to be said, not for you, but for me, and I'm who matters.

You ruined me. You took a piece of me, that still had faith in people, in the good of people, and you tore it to pieces. This was your action, sadly, I was too blind to see it.

You made me turn a cold shoulder to people who loved me, who wanted to care for me. You did this because I trusted you, as my friend, and you broke that foundation.

You are scum. You took a friendship that had developed and used it for your own gain and then disposed of it when you thought I was no longer of value to you. You made me look and feel like a cheap piece of meat.

I've got news for you.

In the past few weeks I've not written here, because the words were hollow, the feeling empty and worthless. You were not then, and are not now worth my words, worth my emotion. Worth anything more than to live with the miserable jerk you are.

I'm better than you. I did not treat you like dirt, make you feel badly, make you feel anything at all. I simply loved you as my friend, my confidant, and some one I cared for.

While you spent your time making me feel ugly, like a freak, I took that same time to prove you wrong. To prove myself that you were wrong. And you were.

I'm beautiful, I'm sexy, I'm smart, I'm fun... and oh yeah, I can tell a joke. It turns out, I just couldn't tell them to you, somehow, I just froze when I was with you. I thought it was because you were perfect and I was standingin awe of someone so wonderful.... I've realized it's because you're so capable of making me feel inadequite, that I didn't have the confidence to be funny.

I'm better than I ever was. I'm strong, happy, full of life and love.

AND I DON'T NEED YOU.