Letters Between Friends
2005-02-13 @ 5:49 p.m.

C-

I've slept, showered, and put on lotion, and somehow, I can still smell you on my skin, in my hair, your breath still mixed in my own. I can still feel your fingers brushing my face deliverately and lightly. I can still feel the heat of your body.... it's trapped inside my own.

I love the way your fingers run through my hair, the way you love to touch me, the way you love the look on my face when I like the way ou touch me. "Everything on your face goes soft, and I know you're happy." I am happy when I'm with you. You and I fit. We were made to be together; physically, mentally, emotionally. Think about it. We get one another and even when we don't, we accept the other even still. I love your quirks and imperfections, I love you despite going so long without really spending time with you. From the night we met, my head has rested perfectly in the soft spot between your shoulder and your neck, it's never mattered how much either of us has grown, it's always fit. Our hands fit together perfectly, they're like puzzle pieces that have finally found their match, our entire bodies are like that. When I'm with you feel like a woman and a child all at once. So small and protected when you call me "little one" or "little wolf"; yet so alive and sexy when I have your dick in my mouth, your body slamming against me or even when you wrap your fingers in my hair, and pull back hard exposing my neck.

I love your smell. I love the way I've always been able to feel complete when I'm standing in front of you, your arms around my shoulders, my head on your chest. You're the only person who makes me feel okay, and when you say it makes you happy that you can make me relax, that makes me happy. EVery part of me screams with joy, contentment, when I'm with you..

NIghts like last night, I fall in love with you. When you lean down and whisper in my ear that you need to tell me a secret, I feel like the most important person on earth. You put me on this completel high, and I never want to come off of it. I want nothing more than for you to fall in love with me. I'm so in love with you, I have been for years and I've never felt confidene enough to tell you . YOu always laugh me off when I tell you I've missed you, or when I tell you I enjoy spending time with you. So how am I supposed to tell you that I love you, that I only want to be with you, and always have? I went to bed last night wishing you were with me. I woke this morning and watch the sky change from black to colors only a childs paintbrush has seen before, longing for you to be there. I want you to be with me always. I want last night to be the beginning of something great, something new, the beginning of a lfew filled with you. I want you to call me later and tell me you want to come to me, or that you wan me to come to you, that you're ready to admit that what you've felt all these years is real, that you'r ein love with me and want to be with me, only me. I want all of this, but after all this time, I know better than to hhope for anything more than a return call in a month from now. Then we'll have lunch, you'll hug me as we leave and I'll be left toa gain feel it all and not get any of it back. Same routine, new year.

Maybe, just maybe this time will be different. Maybe, this time my dreams will come true and I'll finally be with the one I love -
YOU.

All my heart,
Megan

Darling Megan-

Nights like last night break my heart and make my ever fiber hurt. It will never matter the number of times I see you fall apart, it will always bring me to my knees. To see you from the moment you let me in, your eyes bloodshot and stinging, in so much pain - I hate it. I hate tha tyou wait until you reach a poin thwere you can't do it any more, where it's a life an death situation. Don't you know you can commit suicide without really dieing?

I love you so much, and can't stand to see you like this - sobbing and red faced with the hurt others have put on you.

With all of that said, I want you to know, so hopefully you take comfort in it, that even though I hate seeing your pain, I'm so glad that I can be there for you. That I can wrap my arms around you, hold you close and tell you that I love you, that everything will be okay and that I'm here.

You want to know something else? That secret I told you last night, is true. I'm the one who needed you. I needed to feel you, touch you, taste you, know you again. The true of it all is, you think you need me, but I need you more than anything. I spend mere seconds with you, listening you to talk, to your laugh, and all my problems vanish.

I only wish I could tell you this. I wish I had the courage to say it to your face, to see the look in your eyes when you read this. To see you smile when I tell you what I don't tell you enough. -I love you-

You're an amzing person. You're the strongest woman I know, and when you told me last night that you're just good at faking it, I didn't believe you. I fully believe you are made of steel.

I couldn't do it without you.

Love,
C