I've never been a fan of having self gratification due to material possesions. Yet, somehow, knowing that I did what I did this weekend makes me feel so good. I don't have my car today. I have a new car. Mine is being driven in from another city, and I'm guessing I'll have it today. Either way, knowing that at the age of 22, being a single mom, and feeling at times like I've achieved nothing in this life time, I'm the proud owner of a 2005 Saturn ION. It feels good to know, that all this work I've done in the past 4 years has paid off for something that I can actually show, rather than just tell about. Does that make me a bad person?

I'm reading The Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama and Dr. Howard Cutler. I started it several months ago, and I've just gotten to a point where I can sit for long enough to actually read chapters at a time of it. It's very much like reading Codependancy No More for me. I get so mad at that book. Okay, I get mad at me when I'm reading that book. So, I've not completed it, and I've been reading it for almost 2 years now. I really need to pick up a new copy as mine is falling apart from being thrown at walls on a regular basis. It's always hard to read something about yourself that's screaming something so true, but you don't want to hear it, to admit it.

I know this has been highly random, and such is Monday I guess.

I talked to Scott on Saturday night. I went out for a while and came home to 3 messages from him, Brian, and Keith. They were at fantasy fest and all I kept hearing was "I'm drunk, and there are lots of naked women!!!" There was also the mention of "You have on waaaaay too many clothes!". Keith even called me sweetheart, which, I didn't know was in his vocabulary. It should be an interesting eight days. They'll be back on the 8th, just in time to get my birthday gifts out to me by overnight. LOL Yeah right.

Okay, well. Yeah.

Have a great day guys!

~Meg Des - 2004-11-02 00:09:43
You know, I understand how CoDependent No More could be a scary (and frustrating) read...but for me it is...almost liberating. It's all about how you view it. For so long I would think "Gosh, what's wrong with me that I feel/think this way? Why can't I just...(fill in the blank...)?" And now? It's like "Hey, I'm not alone...they wrote a WHOLE book about the way I feel a lot of times"...And not only that, as I read it it's like the knowledge is power. I am learning more about WHY I am this way and that will lead to HOW to change it...I LOVE that.
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Des - 2004-11-02 00:10:59
And, as far as the car...I LOVE my car...When I first got it I was over the moon...it's been three years and I am STILL in love with it. It's not just cute, its safe and reliable and dependable. It starts EVERY time...lol that was very new to me.
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Manic Monday