I don't remember what my favorite toys were, what I liked to do, or what books I liked to read. I don't remember my favorite cartoons, or what any of the kids on my block looked like.

Someone asked me yesterday what I enjoyed doing as a child, and I couldn't answer. I couldn't give her anything. So, I asked my mother.

Apperently I was a pretty typical girl, even though I've got 4 brothers. She said I enjoyed playing dress up, putting on "make up", and generally being a girl. I remember none of it.

The few things I remember from childhood are:

1. Chasing Aaron Johnson on the playground until I finally caught him one day, and kissed him.

2. The next day he chased me on the playground, grabbed the back of my shirt, threw me to the ground and gave me a black eye.

3. My friends jumped him right after it happened.

4. I remember the boy who lived 3 doors down. He was my first kiss. And now, that I think about it, it was gross. If I thought anyone here knew him, I'd never admit to it.

4. I remember Mrs. Rosser next door and her endless supply of candy that she had in her dresser drawers.

5. I remember her sister Alice that lived 2 doors down on the other side, and how she'd make "proper" tea for us on Sundays.

6. I remember finding out my father was sleeping with the woman who lived across the street.

7. I remember walking home from school with Taylor Sheffield. And how I loved to watch her ponytail swing.

8. I remember changing schools from the nice school in my neighborhood where all the "rich" kids went, to the mostly black school on the north side of town.

9. I remember telling my mother to "eff off" for the first time.

10. I remember how it feels to be slapped - hard.

11. I remember what it feels like to be truely alone.

That's it, that's all I can remember. I don't much remember hanging out with my brothers, even though they all tell me I was one of them.

I've written and deleted this last paragraph 3 times now.... I wish I could tell you when I realized I wasn't a child. But I'm not ready. Hell, some people still think I am..... Incredipete - 2004-10-05 12:39:26
I remember throwing rocks at the girls at recess because they didn't like me.
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Me - 2004-10-05 12:41:01
You big meanie!! It's a good thing I like you!!
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Me-starry eyed - 2004-10-05 23:05:22
I remember my father teasing me relentlessly...not the kind and funny sort, but rather the disturbing kind. Salt inbetween my bed sheets, sending me to the store for things they didn't send, telling me my friends had called when they didn't, pointless stuff. I learned not to trust him because I couldn't believe his words. When my grandmother died and he told us about it, my brother and I debated if it were true...we really couldn't trust our own father to be truthful. It is difficult to grow up not able to trust in your parents, those who are supposed to be raising and guiding you. I could write forever how this affected my life and my choices. My childhood doesn't even come close to what you endured. I only mention it so that you know how messed up others can be...some of us just hide it better. {{Hugs}}
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Growing Up