Won't Give Up
2004-08-02 @ 8:22 a.m.

I refuse to give in.

It's stupid, and silly even to think that my prince is out there, waiting to come and rescue me.

But thinking I'm some great and grand princess is the only thing I still believe. If I don't believe in my knight in shining armor being out there, then I feel like I have nothing to personally have faith in.

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter. I know she loves me. I have complete and total faith in her, I believe in her, I treasure her.

But this is my one person dream, hope, want.

I know it's silly, but I just can't give up on it. **************************************** On another note, when I heard the new terror warnings this weekend my blood ran cold. For the past 5 years Scott has worked for Prudential in Newark, NJ and in Livingston, NJ depending on what day of the week it is. No sooner than the news was over did my phone ring, it was Scott. He had apperently been driving back from PA when he heard the news on the radio. He immediately picked up the phone to call me. "Babe, I'm okay. I'll be okay. I start my new job tomorrow. I'm no longer at Pru." I knew that, but it was one of those things where when you are so used to knowing exactly where he is, day to day, and knowing there's a threat there..... He's still going to be in a financial institution, still in NJ, and not too far from the Pru building in Livingston. I'm still a little worried. And it made me think. If I reacted that way, how do I really feel? Would I have reacted that way knowing it were David, or Cole? Just something to think on.