Losing it more every minute
2004-07-30 @ 1:04 p.m.

I laid in bed for a few hours last night with my eyes closed really tight trying to conjure him back into my dreams. I don't remember him ever returning, but I don't remember any of my dreams last night either.

It was a late night, and I didn't sleep well at all. I got up several times for Emma, although now I don't remember what for. I know once she got into bed with me, then carebears ended and I got up to restart it for her and changed my alarm, sent her back to bed and such.

The funny thing about it all is even though I know I couldn't have gotten more than three or four hours of sleep last night, I'm not tired at all today.

I have nothing of substance to say, other than I really wish my dreams would cease to be dreams. This is a want on many levels, not just the relationship, but I guess that is the more prodominant. I don't like being alone. I've dreamed for most of my life of my prince, my knight in shining armor waiting to preceed only shortly the worlds "the end" on page 783 of this novel I live in. I know what he looks like, I know his personality traits, and I know that he's too good to be true. I know that in many of my closest friends there is much of him, but never completely. Maybe we all settle for the almost, and we just don't realize it. Maybe we become so blinded by what could maybe be with just a few modifications, and we're so tired of waiting for someone who needs no tweaks that we subconciously settle.

Yeah, right.