I want
2004-07-01 @ 10:07 a.m.

I'm a little better today than yesterday. David got to me again last night so I made an excuse, hung up and never called back.

I don't want to get aggrivated with him.

You know what I want?

I want that smile. I want the one he gives me when he first sees me. The one where he's not really smiling, but his eyes shine and the corner of his mouth tilts slightly upward.

I want to sit across from him and hold his hand.

I want to sit on the floor in his appartment, in front of his couch where he's sitting and feel his hands in my hair.

I want him to tell me I'm sexy with my hair down and comment on how much darker it's gotten in the last year.

I want him to grab my hand and pull me to him for one last kiss when I'm walking out the door.

I want to feel the crushing power of his arms when he hugs me. That feeling that if he squeezed just a little harder he could actually hurt me. But, he knows that, so he's more reserved, a little more gentle.

I want him to forget her, to know that she's not good enough for him, even though he thinks she's too good.

I want him to know that after all these years, after all the people we've both been with, both loved, that the one person we've both come back to is each other.

I want him to see what I see.

I want him to hold me as dear as I do him.

I want, I want, I want.........everything I can't have. **************************************** On a side note, Cassie hide your eyes, there's a sign on my way to work every morning, that I just happened to pass on my lunch today that says "Have you hugged your cook today?". Every time I pass it I read it as "Have you hugged your cock today?". It's completely accidental, but imagine if the first time I saw this and almost ran the red light thinking it'd said "cock" instead of "cook". Okay, I'm finished now.