Life
2004-05-03 @ 2:25 p.m.

I find myself sitting at stop lights and feeling as if FI've been there an eternity. The people in front of me paying no attention to what's going on around them, other than the fact that they seem to think the car coming in their general direction is 200 feet closer than what it really is. In doing this I have to wonder if everyone in town needs glasses other than me, or if it's simply that I've needed them all these years and have been deceived by the doctors I've seen over the years.

While I sit and wait my mind almost always turns to memories of high school, old friends, or the things I'd love to be doing right now. I always feel a little empty when my mind bends this way. It's as if those were the great times of my life, and all is lost, or that I simply will never achieve the things I feel will make me truely happy.

I know this is untrue. My life is wonderful. I have a beautiful little girl, who gets me into more trouble than anyone could possibly fathom. Like when I'm really trying to get on to her, and I can't because she's so much like me it makes me laugh.

I have great friends. They may be few and far between, but it's okay because I know I have the ones that count. They trust me, I trust them, and I know they support me 110% in all I do, whether they agree with it or not.

I have great family. Now, this is not to say all of my family is great. But in my family are the strongest people I know. My brother, who isn't afraid to be who he truely is, and forever accepts my quirks and moods. My aunt who after years of substance abuse by both her and my uncle has been clean for almost 20 years. She finally recognized the destructive power of submitting to someone when she didn't want to, and is the most independant person I know. After my uncle died 2 years ago, she has stayed strong, taken over his place as SRVP of the company they work for, been able to keep their muli-million dollar home and her car all without help from others.

My grandmother who at 83 is still as spunky as she always has been. She's fiesty, observant, dominant, and kind all at the same time. She is without a doubt the person I admire most in my life.

Life is certianly good. I have problems, but who doesn't? If life isn't ugly once in a while, we don't see the beauty the rest of the time.