Ramblings
2004-04-01 @ 9:24 a.m.

It seems at times that I have no idea what's going on, this notion never hits me until it's altogether untimely and in poor fashion.

I'm beginning to wonder if ingnorance is truely bliss. Maybe yes, but then, maybe we're less fortunate when we don't have a secure grasp on our surroundings.

I've become hauntingly aware of everything around me, every sight, every smell, every person. I think in doing so, I've become increasingly paranoid. I cannot walk to my car after dark without feeling as if someone is behind me, watching, waiting to pounce. I cannot help but feel that Mark is waiting in the wings, waiting to take me for his again.

I'm not sure where this is going, maybe I'm just getting thoughts away from my dissconnected sense of being. If I can clear my mind, my thoughts, I can make it through yet another day.

Tomorrow brings freedom. I'm leaving work early and driving to Lubbock to see David. The 120 miles of land between here and there are beautiful. There's not much to see, and purhaps that's why I love it so much. There's room for growth and prosperity, but not the marred land of todays culture and technology.