Letters
2004-03-25 @ 10:36 a.m.

I don't want to let you go, but my disdain at the way things are right now makes me feel like that's exactly what I should be doing.

Why is it that I can't sleep, I can barely eat, and my heart is so full of ache due to the thought of letting this just slip away, yet it's all I can seem to think to do.

I wish you'd tell me how you feel. Be more forthright and open.

It would be so much easier that way.

I guess no one said that life would be easy.

I've been told, and always trusted, that love and caring are the particles that mould us together, keep us alive. I think it's incredibly funny that while this may be true, they are also the two very things that tend to tear us apart. They make us hurt more deeply than anything.

They are the essential yin to their very own yang.

I thought for a long time that you were mine. Maybe I still do. Maybe I'll over come that, and maybe I'll never have to find out.

There are so many questions that lack answers and yet many more that may never be requitted.

I wish I could say these things to you, without feeling so..... weak. Emotion, and being able to handle such things efficiently should be a sign of strength, so why is it that when we cry, when we rant, when we rave we are considered weak and out of controll? Do we not then possess the greatest strength of all...being able to trust ourselves and our feelings? I wish I felt I had this controll with you. But I do not.

One more thing to overcome and accept.

I love you.

~M