Where'd this start? Because it didn't go there!
2004-03-23 @ 10:28 a.m.

I've sat for several minutes staring at this box. This, void.

Something is missing and it's not just the block print type that appears by the work of my hands. It's something so much more.

It's a void really more of the heart than of the physical being. Although, it seems at times when the heart aches, the body follows and I begin to wonder if what they say about mentally happy people being more physically healthy is true.

Or is it simply that they're physically healthy therefore happy?

Are they really interconnected?

This entry has gone to a place I didn't reall intend, but hey, I guess that's what happens when we let the fingers do the work rather than the over developed, under worked grey matter.

I guess it's simply that many things going on in my life at the moment are making me think, making me challenge the beliefs I've come to know, and even if not cherish, trust. It makes me feel empty to not know the answers and I have to think that maybe that's why I've always strived so hard to fix the problem, I have to know the answers in order to feel complete, whole.

Do I really need to know the answers to everything? Probably not. Do I overwork myself trying to find these said answers the the rhetorical questions life presents? Probably so. Either way it gives me meaning.

I can only hope that this meaning effects someone other than my sole purpose. I'd hate to think that my quest for answers was of a selfish nature. But then, if it isn't, and I'm trying so hard to find that it is, or trying rather too hard to make everything in my life "un-selfish" then aren't I simply being selfish in almost forcing others to let me be this "un-selfish" person?

See, me, thinking, is never good. I over analyze everything. Or have you noticed?