Letters from him
2004-02-12 @ 1:26 p.m.

I visit my older brothers website fairly often, it seems at times it's the only way to catch up with him.

I have contacted him this morning and asked permission to include something he'd written in his personal diary. He's granted my wishes, and so, without further adu, "Weekend dreams".....

Many of you know where I run to on the weekends I leave town. Some of you do not. Questions have been asked, and so I'm going to enlighten you in ways only I know how. You can take it for what it is worth, or you can leave it behind as a simple fairy tale and way to get you off my back for the time being. (Mom) So, here you go, here is the only explination you will receive.

I got in my car somewhere close to 2 pm that Friday. Class was over and I knew that by the time I reached her, she'd be long sleeping. The time, which we all know, is best for an attack.

I have a key to her appartment, and can let myself in, almost without a sound. She'll never even know I'm there.

In the morning she'll awake to the smells of being home again, being with people who love her, the people she thinks have left her. She doesn't realize that I'm still here, that I love her deeply. She's amazing......

She'll crawl out of bed to see what's going on, light pink cotten jammies, bare feet and blonde hair pulled back. She's beautiful even at dawns earliest light. Then she smiles, and it's as if the sun has just risen for the first time....you're captured in it, it doesn't let you go.

I love these quiet times with her, we stay inside, no TV, no movies...once in a while the radio. But we chat, and catch up on all the things we've done for weeks before. More often than not we end up getting dressed and getting in my car. She slides off her shoes, bare feet perched on the dash, singing at the top of her lungs. I remember her as a child and the world just seems to fade away.

She seems happy again as we drive out of town. No destination in mind, just letting the road lead us. We know we only have a short time to be together, and we want to make the most of it. So we drive until we've taken enough miles to sooth her soul and we turn around to go back.

We always stay that night together, her sleeping while I hold her hand. It's the only true rest she's gotten in weeks. The only time she's felt safe. I wish I could protect her always.

I'm always gone before she wakes. The road home is long, the time spent to short and I can't bare the tears she'll shed at good-bye.

You may never know who she is, but I'll tell you now, I've known her my life through. I'll tell you she's someone cherished and someone who touches the lives of everyone she knows, even when she doesn't realize she does. Who this angel is may always remain a mystery, but she's reading here.....for that I must say "I love you K." Sweet dreams.