He said She said
2004-09-07 @ 8:43 a.m.

I love to watch her. To watch golden wheat meet the greenest of grass, as her hair falls softly into her eyes. She has never been so beautiful as in that moment, in that one smile....

He said: I'd love to have my memoirs published. You know?

She said: I think everyone has a right to. Even if just for self-gratification or preservation.

He said: See, the problem is I've never really done anything to warrant having them published.

She said: You're the most accomplished man I know!!

He said: No, what I have I done? Grown up in upper-middle class America with every oppurtunity and finished college. Some achievement.

She said: I'm incredibly proud of you. Look at me, I never even finished school!

He said: Yeah, but you're life should be made into a "Lifetime" movie.

She said: How so? You're nuts, you know!

He said: You had every dissadvantage thrown your way. You grew up with a past that you had no controll over. Yet, somehow, you've turned into an incredible woman. Human condition and all.

She said: I'm not any different than any other young woman in America these days.......

I wasn't prepared for the change in temprature as Cole left for Oregan on Sunday. It's as if the events of the previous nights had scared him into hibernation. It all came to easy. We fit the part too well. And he's frightened at what it might mean. In many ways I can't blame him.

We talked a lot about the past. About my past.

I don't ever talk about my past.

And if and when I do, I lie, or make it up.

I am who I am because of the events of the past 22 years. I've always looked at the next day as just one more page in the book. And the past days, as chapters written and never again read.

Don't make me do it. Don't make me confront it, and we'll be okay. I'm not ready to face it just yet. And I need your help to do so.

To do that means you can't be as scared as I know you are right now.

For once, I need someone else to be my rock.