Nothing more
2004-08-25 @ 12:08 p.m.

I don't really know what I'm feeling or thinking these days.

I'm still hurt, and angry. But the thought of having dinner with Dave (Darcey's ex-husband), seeing both Lara and Gemma some time this week, and Cole moving home next week excites me, and gives me something to look forward to.

I don't know right now if I'm staying in Amarillo or not for much longer. Scott's singed the lease on his new place, as of yesterday; and talking to him last night, it sounds like he's really starting to consider me moving up there. I know I'm going up for a visit in the next few months, although it will most likely at this point have to wait until after Christmas. There's just too much going on between now and then with holidays and birthdays.

The only thing I'm sure about in life right now is that the people I had lunch with today are good people. They may not be the best friends in the world as far as being there afterhours, or on their own will. But I know that anytime I need anything at all from any of them, they'd willingly give it to me with no questions and no thoughts of me paying the back in anyway.

After all that, all the empty words that say so much without really explaining the true meaning of the wispy thoughts of floating silver, there is one thing left. At the end of the day, when dusk has come and faded into a deeper blue, my baby telling me that she loves me, that she's I'm her best friend, and that when she gets into bed with me almost every night, sometime around 4 am, and when I ask her if that's better, she says "Yeah, momma", my world is right, I have a purpose a meaning, and I know I'm worthy of something. I love her, and I know that she loves me without conditions.

I need nothing more.