Questions of Faith
2004-04-19 @ 2:44 p.m.

Faith:

Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

So, where we have the definition of faith, but what is faith, really? How can we base our belief system on something that cannot logically exist?

This is something I�ve struggled with for a long time and seems to be coming to ahead now. Yes, I�ve been reading again, and that�s where much of this stems from, yet at the same time, it�s almost as if it�s something greater that�s been pulling at me for a long time, yet it�s only now pulling hard enough to have true effect on me.

I went to church yesterday morning. The same church I have attended for almost 3 years now. It was question and answer week, where our pastor passes out little slips of blank paper and you can ask any question you�d like, anonymously and he will then answer in front of the entire congregation. I usually enjoy this time, and look forward to this semi-annual event. But this time left me with something more, yet something less. I left feeling empty, and discouraged. Not the way I personally think I should feel after leaving church. Some of his answers seemed to me to have no proof, to not be founded in anything. It was almost as if he was afraid to answer some of them. Like, he knew he could not answer truthfully or the church would fall into despair. It wasn�t anything obvious, it just seemed for some reason to scream at me.

I turned to David, an obvious choice not only due to friendship and relationship but because he�s studied religion and spirituality in school. We began to talk about faith, and religion. I grew up in a non-denominational church, as did he, and he has converted to Catholicism in the past year or so. I began asking questions about the bible and, other religious works, to which is reply was simply that every religion begins somewhere. We are taught what we are by our parents, they by theirs, and so on and so forth. Every religion borrows from another. Somehow this led into talking about Noah and the flood, and how he was not the only man in religion to have this almost exact experience, but how the story is related in other belief systems also. I find it very hard to put my faith in something that was taken from another belief. How am I to trust a bible, a book that claims to be 100% true when there are the same stories, yet different names in other religions that also claim to be 100% true.

I�m going to start searching. Searching for not only what my mind sees as honest, true, and believable, but what my heart feels is right. No matter what it is. I don�t know where this path will lead, maybe back to the age of the God�s and Goddess� that some still worship today. Maybe that�s where the fundamentals began anyway. I mean, there had to be people on earth, following other paths long before Jesus� day. Right?

Any suggestions on literature, personal beliefs, or opinions are always welcome. I don�t judge and of course only request you hold that true to your heart when dealing with me. For now, I�ll probably begin to chronicle my search for my beliefs here, or on one of my other names here on D-land. If the latter is the case, I�ll let you know, and if you for some unknown reason would like to read there too, let me know, you�re more than welcome to.

~M.